Back to School Sleep Tips : Help Your Child be ready (2020)

Alright, let me just start off here by saying, no judgment for what might have gone down in the last couple of months.

I know… I’m a child sleep consultant and you may think that I’m going to tell you off for the late bedtimes, inconsistent schedules, or any of the many naughty things that may have taken place over your summer holidays and during lock down. Read more

That’s right, I said it. Your baby will never sleep straight through the night.

And neither will you, for that matter.

This isn’t due to stress, caffeine, lack of exercise, or any other factors that can contribute to a lousy night’s sleep. It’s a normal, natural part of the human sleep cycle.

Understanding the Adult Sleep Cycle

We’re all familiar with the various stages of sleep from our own experience. You might not be able to put a name to them, but you’ve certainly felt the difference between waking from a light sleep and a deep one.

To put it simply, when we fall asleep, we spend a little while in a light stage of sleep and gradually progress into a deeper one. We stay there for a little while and then gradually re-emerge into the lighter stage, and when we do, there’s a good chance that we’ll wake up.

For instance…

❶You fall asleep at eleven

❷ Hit that deep sleep by midnight

❸ Hang out there for roughly 6 hours

❹ Then start to come back to the surface around 6:00 or 7:00

❺ Gradually waking up refreshed and ready to face the day.

Except the whole process only takes about an hour and a half.That’s right. From start to finish, going from light sleep to deep sleep and back again takes between 90 – 110 minutes.

Luckily for us (and for those who have to interact with us) the process repeats itself pretty easily. Either we’ll wake up for a minute or two and fall right back to sleep, or we might not even wake up at all. Ideally, this happens five or six times in a row.

We get a restful, refreshing, restorative snooze in the night, and we reap the benefits of it throughout the day.

Understanding the Infant Sleep Cycle

But enough about us grown-ups. What about our little ones?

Infants, despite their increased need for sleep, have a much shorter sleep cycle than adults. On average, an infant goes from light sleep to deep sleep and back again in an astounding 50 minutes. So whoever coined the term, “Sleep like a baby” was clearly misinformed.

That’s right, I said it. Your baby will never sleep straight through the night.

Our Philosophy 

This is where the essential element of sleep training comes into play, the program doesn’t teach your child to stay asleep, or spend more time in any one stage of the sleep cycle.

What we do is teach your baby to fall asleep independently initially, and when they wake up.

That’s it! That really is the heart if what we’ll be doing together. We’ll be helping your baby to accept these wake-ups as a non-event.

Once they’ve learned the skills they need to fall back to sleep on their own, they’ll wake up after a sleep cycle, their brain will signal them to go back to sleep, and that’s exactly what they’ll do.

There are a few reasons why I feel it’s so important for parents to understand this. First of all, I want you to know that we’re not doing anything that actually influences or alters your baby’s natural sleep. We’re just giving them the skills to fall asleep independently after they wake up, which, as you probably know by now, they’re going to do multiple times a night.

Common Misconceptions

One of the biggest arguments you might hear from critics of sleep training is, “Babies are supposed to wake up at night!”

And that’s absolutely, 100 per cent correct. Babies, just like adults, are supposed to wake up at night.

All that we’ll be doing together is teaching your little one to stay calm and content when they do wake up, and giving them the ability to get back to sleep without any help from mom, a pacifier, or any other exterior source that might not be readily available in the middle of the night.

So if you’re wondering whether or not sleep training is going to put your child at an increased risk for SIDS, or if it will somehow alter their natural sleep patterns, or make them nocturnal, or damage them in any way, I can assure you with the full support of the American Academy of Pediatrics, that it will not.

What it will do is keep them calm and assured when they wake up in the night, and help to ensure that they get the sleep they need to be happy and healthy.

So although your little one is going to wake up numerous times a night, every night, they can quickly and easily learn the skills to get back to sleep on their own. It will only seem as though they’re sleeping straight through the night.

That, I would imagine, is something we call all get behind.

Look forward to conversing with you on Facebook and Twitter.

 

 

 

 

 

[i] US National Library of Medicine – https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0072506/

[ii] US National Library of Medicine – https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3439810/

[iii] American Academy of Pediatrics – https://www.aap.org/en-us/about-the-aap/aap-press-room/pages/Infant-Sleep-Training-is-Effective-and-Safe-Study-Finds.aspx

 

Toddlers are fascinating creatures, aren’t they? Watching them develop into thinking, creative little people is such a fascinating time, and one that parents often wish would last a little longer.

Of course, they usually wish that after baby’s grown out of the toddler stage, because along with that creativity and new-found intelligence, we usually see a lot of boundary-testing, which can be a frustrating experience.

Read more

Guy Fawkes Night, or Bonfire Night, as we normally know it, is a great celebration for adults and children alike. Unfortunately, many parents are ready to put their children to bed long before the revelry is over. Here are a few tips on how to enjoy the event and keep your baby’s schedule on track.

Read more

When do the clocks go back?

On Sunday 28th October at 2am the clocks will ‘fall’ back for winter. Anyone without kids will say “Hooray, an extra hour in bed!” but if you have a little one, this small change can wreak havoc with sleep routines.
So how do you slowly weave in the new time into the day? When should you do mealtimes? And if you’re living an hour later, how and when do you get to synchronise with your child?

If I had it my way….

Personally, I wish we could just get rid of this antiquated practice. Given there is an 8% increase in traffic accidents the Monday after daylight savings time kicks in. It really does have an effect on all of us, and it can increase our sleep debt – especially in children, who tend to be much more structured with going to bed at the same time every night and waking up at the same time every morning.
However, instead of grumbling about it, we might as well just focus on amending our kids’ schedules as quickly and efficiently as possible.
On that note, here’s my advice for readjusting your family’s internal clocks over the coming weeks.

Don’t let it scare you – apply changes one at a time

For “Fall Back,” my recommendation to all parents is just to leave the clocks alone so it’s not a psychologically upsetting event to see your little one up an hour earlier. Just get up at your usual time and start the day. After your cup of coffee and a bit of breakfast, then you can go around changing the clocks. It will feel much better this way, trust me!
If, for example, your little one usually takes a morning nap around 9:30, you will adjust this to 9:00 for the three days after the time change. It will be a bit of a push for your child, but not so much that it will cause much damage to her schedule. Do the same for the afternoon nap.
Let’s say your child usually goes to bed at 7 p.m. I recommend putting your child to bed at 6:30 p.m. for the first three days following the time change. (This will FEEL like 7:30 to your child.) And it will take about a week for your child’s body to get used to this.

A little trick for children over the age of two

If you have children over the age of two, you can use a clock to help with getting them adjusted to the new time. Put a Gro clock in the room and set it half an hour forward to start the day, so that at 6:30 am it shows the sun for the start of the day. If using a digital clock put a piece of tape over the minutes, so that they can see if it is 6 o’clock or 7 o’clock, but they cannot see the minutes, which often confuses toddlers. Just set the clock forward half an hour so that at 6:30 it says 7:00. Let them get up a little earlier than normal, knowing that, by the end of the week, they will be back on track and sleep until their normal wake-up time.

On the fourth night, just get in line with the new time so your baby is back to going to bed when the clock says 7:00 pm. Adjust naps to the correct time on day 4 as well.

With a little luck and preparation, you might just find yourself savouring that extra hour of sleep after all.

Another tip…

Our internal sleep clocks are pretty powerful. If you know your child will probably wake up at the normal time, see if you can keep them in their cot or bed for 10 minutes or so longer in the morning. Stagger the time change through the day. Why not add a couple of extra snacks and try…

  • Breakfast – 15 mins later
  • Lunch – 35 mins later
  • Tea – 60 mins later

Meal times can help to set your body clock, make mealtimes one of the key timing changes. And then your final task is to see if you can move bedtime to an hour later, without a torrent of tired tears.

One final thing…

Don’t allow the clocks going back to let you slip into bad habits. Bringing your baby into bed with you or giving a dawn milk feed to encourage your baby back to sleep may work in the short term but long term may lead to sleeping problems.

One of the most aggravating situations I see parents running into when they’re sleep training is the sudden onset of a minor illness when they’re finally seeing some progress.

After months of sleep issues, they finally decide to take the initiative and get serious about getting their baby onto a schedule, baby starts getting the hang of it, the whole family is starting to see longer periods of consolidated sleep, and everyone’s getting ready to break out the champagne…

And then BAM! Baby gets a cold, or an ear infection, or a bout of diarrhoea, or one of the other seven thousand illnesses that babies are prone to, and the whole thing goes off the rails.

Read more

Alright, let me just start off here by saying, honestly and sincerely, no judgment for what might have gone down in the last couple of months. I know… I’m a sleep consultant and you may think that I’m going to chastise you for the late bedtimes, unenforced rules, inconsistent schedules, or any of the many “inadvisable” that may have taken place over your summer holiday.

But I get it. I really do. I’m a mother myself and I know how precious these summer months are. You want to squeeze every minute of joy and togetherness you can from these glorious days. The mission now is to get your child back on track so that they can get back to sleep at a reasonable hour the day before they head back to school.

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